Thursday, May 18, 2006
I've found it! No, not some long lost expensive peice of jewelry, but something far more valuable. I've found peace again! It's funny how easily we lose it, only to find it again, right where we left it, in the arms of our Savior. It's been about a month now since we started this journey, waiting to see if these opportunities at HP in Fort Collins might be God's calling us back to CO. And as I sit on what should be the brink of finding out what the answer is, I have finally come to a place of truely accepting and embracing whatever God has for us. I've done so much praying, specifically these past two weeks, and God is answering my prayer. Of course in the beginning, I was praying hard that this would be our ticket to live closer to family, and while God still knows our desire to be back in CO sooner than later, the Holy Spirit has moved my heart to pray for something far more important, for peace, joy, and true contentment in whichever way the Lord works in our lives. Today as I was driving to Walmart to do some shopping, everything finally came together in my heart and mind. I realized that I would never want anything other than GOD'S best for me. And if that so happens to be what my heart desires at this point, great, but if not, I fully trust Him to reveal His good and perfect purposes for us here. As I've thought about the "what if's" of staying here, vs. moving to CO, I realized that I have a lot of unsurrendered fears. I have fears that my children won't have the opportunity to be as close to their grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins if we stay here, fears that I won't be able to cope with two young children without the help of my mom's and sister, fears that my kids will enter a school system where they are the minority in faith, and the list goes on. But then I asked myself, where are these fears coming from? Don't I believe that God is with me where ever I am and that He will provide for ALL of my needs, and my families needs, just as He always has and as He promises in His Word? I realized that only the enemy of my soul would have me fear these things and I cannot give Him victory! So please continue to pray with me, that we will be able to fully embrace what the Lord has next for us in our lives, without fear, but rather with confidence that "if God is for us, who can be against us!" Amen. I will keep you posted once we have an answer.