Sunday, August 05, 2007

Savoring, Slowing...

The oxymoron of moments. Emma is fully potty trained! No more diapers, dry panties all day, dry most mornings upon waking, the triumphant music is playing in my head! All the carpet cleanings, potty charts, discipline, frustration and hopeful anticipation are nearly over. While I thought this moment would bring me elation beyond words...I sit here feeling a bit... melancholy. My Gracie is not a baby any more, not even a toddler. In fact, dare I say pre-schooler?! How can this be my baby, how can this be?! It seems like only yesterday I was sleeping in our chair in our tiny apartment with your little weight upon my cheast, snuggled in for a nap. It seems like only yesterday you were nursing at my breast, gazing into my eyes as if your very existence resided in them. It seems like only yesterday you were taking your first unsure steps to me, beaming with pride. Oh, how we spend so much timing hoping for the next milestone only to miss terribly the time before. I must savor every moment, drink it in, hold it in my mouth, let it linger awhile, gracing every tastebud before I swallow. These are the days I will long for when my last baby flies the nest. Each day can only be lived once, I must make it count! Walk slowly, play long, hug and hold often, say the words that are in my heart, shepherd theirs. Walk moment by moment with my Savior, love Him with everything I have, so one day, my little ones will want to walk as mommy did. Oh sweet babies, my love for each of you wells up in my throat! You will always be my babies, no matter how big you get, I am so blessed!

8 comments:

Jennisa said...

beautiful words Sarah...Our children grow way too fast, I agree. I loved seeing the photos of you and your family....you all are so beautiful!

Amy said...

Aww, I love all the photos, especially the one of all your hands and feet. This is a beautiful post. These baby steps on the way to total independence...well they just stink sometimes, don't they.

Munchkin Land said...

Oh, my friend, yes, you are truly blessed!! =) Those are beautiful photos! Did Anna take them? I, like Amy, really loved the feet one.

Yes, the feeling is SO bittersweet, isn't it?! I feel like motherhood is one BIG contradiction of emotions!

Deidre said...

Beautiful post, Sarah. Your words made me cry because I feel so very much the same. I want time to stand still and my girls to stay small. As tiring as this season is, it's the most precious, I think.

Michelle said...

congrats on the potty training! Although I understand what you mean about how bittersweet some of these milestones can be. In our rush to get our kids to the next milestone we sometimes forget to stop and cherish the ones they are in. Beautifully written post and pictures!

ColoradoDreaming said...

How sweet! I know just how you feel! My youngest is going to be six next month and in the first grade! My last baby and she is growing up so fast. But I have such joy watching her grow and at the same time long to hold her to me as a small baby and being her world again.

Christine said...

You have gorgeous children and you speak of them so beautifully. I'm with you on savoring every moment, though I can't say I'll miss potty training as an event! :)

Drink them in, breathe them in...I'll be doing the same with my moments.

Elise said...

Wah - my slow internet won't show the slideshow! :(

But the post is beautiful, as always - I feel the bittersweetness (a word?) and joy - you are such a good mama!

Memorize every second - it is a push/pull until they are grown - and even then, I'm sure it continues! Hugs!