An Affair

Hello Friends! I realize it's been about a month since last I posted. I would say I'm sorry to have been gone for so long, but the truth is, I've been connecting with many of you through another website. You know the one... Facebook. There, I've said it, it's now public knowledge, I've been cheating on my blog with Facebook. It's such an easy way to stay connected with "friends", and brief little chats and status updates rather than essay blogs feels like a better fit at the moment. Have no fear, I shall return to this place I love. It's so much more personal than Facebook and I get to decorate it and most of you know how much I love decorating:). Family life and Christmas activities are bustling around here, business and fun and good things. I check in with all of your blogs from time to time and always love to hear your latest happenings and thoughts. I'll be back, I promise. Love and Merry Christmas to all!

Capturing Beauty

Sometimes, few words are necessary:).
And yes, I took these. Have I mentioned how much I love photography?

Emma's Character Award

Our Emma Grace just won a Character Award at school! It reads, "As part of our continuing effort to reinforce and acknowledge positive character traits in our students, we want to recognize your student for consistently displaying the character trait of: RESPECT- Showing consideration for others and their property; listening to and following instructions of those in authority; honoring others; following the Golden Rule; being courteous and polite. Mrs. "S" comments, "Emma is consistently respectful in our Kindergarten classroom, at specials, in the lunch room, and on the playground. She listens well and follows directions- always paying attention to what she has been told to do. We can count on her to be polite and respectful at all times. Way to go Emma!" You are to be commended for teaching these behavioral traits in your home. We are pleased to recognize and celebrate your child's excellent character and accomplishments."

Just had to brag on my Peanut for a minute, thanks for obliging this proud mama:)!

Horseback Riding 2009

Make a Smilebox scrapbook

This Wall

Life seems to be moving along pretty predictably at the moment. We have settled into Emma's school year and are finding our new daily routine accordingly. But there is a struggle within that I've had a hard time giving voice. I need to be vulnerable here, I need to be real. I need to share this because I long for growth and change.
I have been in a valley in my walk for awhile now. I suppose we all define these times differently, perhaps we call it a dry spell, feeling distant from the Lord, but whatever we call it, it's not a comfortable place to be. It is as if, on the other side of this wall in front of me, a short wall that I could easily climb, there is this intimacy with the Lord that I long for but can't seem to reach. And it's not as if my legs are trapped in concrete, preventing me from climbing this wall, no... I could jump right over any old time, but instead I sit, somehow content in my complacency, waiting... for what I'm not sure, but feeling lost and alone. And the hardest part to understand is that in my head and my heart, I know that time in the Word and prayer, surrounding myself with the Body, all these things will take me closer to what I long for. But it's as if my current failure and distance keep me wallowing in defeat, afraid to let His grace and mercy be new each morning, afraid to listen to the Holy Spirit and what He might ask of me. Why does it seem easier to look to other things for fulfillment, settling for second best when I know in my heart that God has so much more for me? Why do I try to hide from Him, the seer and knower of all? Why do I turn away from His promptings and invitations to know Him and love Him more? Why am I afraid that He may ask me to suffer for the sake of His glory and for my own refinement? Where is my faith, my assurance that this is not my home?! Why do I settle into false comforts, quenching the abundant life by filling my mind and my time with the temporal? "Father, I beg you to jump over this wall and snatch me up! Carry me over, into your presence, into that life-giving relationship with You I once knew. I am weak, be my strength! Build me up, challenge me, refine me, walk with me Aba! I need you, not just when times are hard and I'm crying out for help, not just on Sunday mornings, but every minute of every day sweet Jesus! I am thirsty, give me your living water! I am hungry for You! Don't let me dry up in this dessert. Refine me, even with fire, fill me up, find me and fill me. Thank you for your grace, for never giving up on me, for being always faithful, though I am not. I'm running to your Word now, pull me over this wall! Amen".

A Day at The Farm

On Emma's first full day of school, I took Chloe and Sawyer to a local farm for a special outing. We had a great time! We recently went back to the same farm for pony rides for the girls, I'll get those pics up soon too.

Make a Smilebox scrapbook

Sawyer's First Birthday!

Make a Smilebox slideshow

One Year

One year ago today, I was beholding my firstborn son for the very first time! I remember crying tears of joy at the first sight of you, "Monkey". Sawyer Michael, what a blessing you have been to our family! You have three mommy's you know. You are loved so very much by all, that sweet smile of yours must be made of fire, because it melts the hearts of all who behold it. You are my mellow man... so far that is. Easy going, go with the flow, I often call you my happy camper. So much a year can hold, sweet son, so many firsts. I treasure each moment, locked in my memory, to hold me fast when one day I watch you graduate from high school. There will be plenty of time for letting go, for launching you into independence. But for now, precious son, keep snuggling in, putting your arms up whenever I walk by, giving that precious sigh of contentment when I oblige.Baby mine, happy first birthday!

My Dearest Emma Grace!

My dearest Emma Grace. Today was a big day for you, little peanut sauce. Today I dropped you off at Kindergarten. You were so excited to get dressed this morning, in your little navy blue uniform dress and new school shoes. You were up before I had to wake you up anticipating the day ahead. You requested a bun for your hair today, but we compromised with a half bun since I like your long curls so much. Daddy and I both took you to school today while Grammy watched Chloe and Sawyer. You wanted to ride with Daddy in the Buick since that's how you'll be riding to school every day. I pulled along side you in the van and you waved at me with such excitement. I waved back with the same look of excitement while holding back the lump in my throat. "Is this really happening?" I thought to myself. When we pulled up to school, I watched daddy carry you across the street and immediately the flashbacks of him carrying you in your infant car seat across the hospital parking lot came into my mind's eye. It seems like only yesterday we were bringing you home from the hospital in your little green dress. Emma Grace, you have filled our hearts in a way that simply can't be expressed with words! You are beautiful, sweet girl, in every definition of the word, my precious firstborn. Your sense of humor, your excitement for surprises, your tender care of your sister and brother, the way you're eager to help me around the house, your sweet hugs and kisses, our priceless times before bed when I give you "tickles" on your back and we talk about everything under the sun and above it. I Cherish you so much! Today was hard for me, this little step of letting go. How can anyone love you as much as I do? Well, you know who. About a week ago, we were laying by the wading pool on our towels having a special time together and I told you that school would be starting this week and that you might miss me. I asked you if you were worried about missing me, to which you replied, "Jesus is in my heart, mommy, so if I miss you I will just pray to Him and He will help me feel better, because He is always with me." I was shocked and awed and my heart melted in a puddle right there! I said, "you're right baby, and mommy will need to do that too when I'm missing you!" But time has to move forward, and babies have to grow up and every day involves trusting God with your little heart and life, even when you're not in my care. I pray this day is special for you baby, that you have a great time with your wonderful teachers and new friends. Know that I'm always with you in my heart, I pray for you all day long and can't wait to pick you up from school! We will get through this together and no matter how many other teachers you have along the way, Daddy and I will always be your number one teachers and we are so honored and blessed to have that job!

This is the special note your teachers gave me on the way out the door with a fluffy cotton ball, a note that made me cry my eyes out all the way home!:

"Dearest Kindergarten Parents,
We just want to give you a little "gift" as you leave your little growing edge of the world with us this morning, so you will not have to go away "empty-handed".
As you hold this little cotton ball in your hand, the softness will help you to recall the gentle spirit of your child. Go home and after you have wiped your tears, make yourself a nice warm cup of tea. Put your feet up and relax. Remember, that together, we will all work along side your child, this year, to help them grown to their fullest capabilities.
Thank you for entrusting your child to us for this upcoming school year. We promise to do our very best every day to be your child's companions in learning and exploring this bright new world they have just stepped into...into the world of "I CAN!"
Sincerely,
Tina and Heidi"

Happy Birthday Chloe Paige!

My sweet little Chloe Mo! How ever did you go from this...

to this!

Such beauty, such light, such fire for life!

You will always be my precious baby, no matter how big you get, my mama's girl to the core! Your hugs and kisses and "I love you's" melt my heart like no other. Happy third birthday sugar! I love you to the moon and back!