Trusting God Enough

I'm deep in thought tonight about the direction our future, as a family, is headed. I am married to a visionary man, full of passion and excitement for the future. It's exciting to be his wife for sure, I love his passion and I too want to be courageous as we attempt to step towards God's best for our lives. But sometimes my heart gives way to fear. Fear of the unknowns, the what-ifs, sketchy finances and the like. I know that each new venture into the unknown gives us more opportunity to trust the Lord, and that is what I'm praying for tonight, that I would learn to bathe in God's promises, that I would trust God enough to trust Travis as we makes some big decisions for our future. I want to hang on tight, eyes wide open on this ride, ready to embrace what's around the next corner!

11 Months!

Sawyer Michael turned 11 months yesterday! I can't believe we're only one month away from his first birthday. My little Gerber baby will be toddling before I know it, he's so close, walking along furniture, crawling with great speed. I really don't know how this year flew so fast!

New Favorite Picture!

So I Don't Forget

Yesterday:
I ask Chloe, "would you please help me fold this laundry? Here are some towels and pillow cases for you to do."
Chloe (Folds her items with great care): "Look Mommy! I folded it good!"
Me: "Yes you sure did sweetie, how did you get to be such a good folder?!"
Chloe (Chest puffed out, proud grin on her face and in her eyes): "I just growed up to be a good folder Mommy, I'm big now!"
Me: "You're right baby, you are SO big! Thank you for being such a good helper to Mommy!"
For the rest of the day, she kept asking me if there was anything else that needed to be folded.

Today:
In the car today, Chloe exclaims as she looks out the window with excitement, "Look at the clouds Emma!!!"
Emma: "Ya, they're like peanut butter and jelly, all spreaded out!"
Where do they come up with this stuff, I love it!

This Vessel

I've been giving much thought to this birthday post over the past few months. We all know, deep down, that birthdays only mark the passage of time, they don't speed it up or slow it down. But somehow, they always get us contemplating our age and what it means. And these decade birthdays seem to get more attention than others; I guess we like to think it tens? I've been getting comments all year like, "you're turning thirty this year! Is that hard for you to think about?" Or, "The big 3-0 is approaching, how are you feeling about that?" I know these questions are usually asked in sympathy as the asker expects me to be bemoaning my age. But I can say, in all honesty, that I am feeling quite different than one might expect about this thirtieth birthday.

Thirty years ago today, my parents were having one of the most amazing moments of their lives! At 4:17pm on July 3rd, 1979, their 5lb. 13oz. baby girl entered the world, their first born child. As morbid as it may sound, there are so many people who die in childhood, adolescence, or young adulthood, I have been touched by so many of these stories, babies who never leave the hospital alive, etc... So to complain about getting older is to complain about the precious days God has allowed me to live on this earth, each of which is such a gift!
This vessel has served me well, friends, I cannot complain. And that is what my aging body is, yes? A vessel, a vehicle my soul gets to ride in through this journey of life. Don't get me wrong, I have my moments of vanity, wishing my skin looked like it did when I was 18, wishing the skin on my stomach had a little more elasticity to pull itself back together after three babies stretched it halfway around the world and back. But alas, I have stretch marks and moles, and the beginnings of fine lines on my face. Shhh! don't tell anyone, but I even found my first "age spot"! But I'm not going to get stuck on this laundry list of pettiness, NO! I am so blessed!
For thirty years, I have watched the seasons change, seen the glory of sunsets and even a few magical sunrises. I have anticipated warm holiday times with family and friends, laughed until I cried, cried until I laughed, sometimes cried until all my tears were completely dried up. I have been in love, and then learned what real love is, the kind you choose. I have carried life within my womb, something so miraculous and wonderful, I just can't find words for it! I know what it is to be "Mommy", I know what it is to be "Sweetheart, Baby, Wife". I have mourned and rejoiced, had times of excitement and times of quiet "normalcy". I have known the joy of becoming more mature, of being able to look back at where I was and see the amazing growth and fruit God has worked out in me. With each new sentence I write, my smile grows bigger! The whole package of my life, the blessings and hardships, ALL of it has been such a gift! And what has been the greatest gift of my life? Jesus Christ! It is because of His death on a cross and Resurrection that I have the promise of eternity with my God, it is because of Him that I can call Him "my God". And this eternity does not just begin when I die, He has given me abundant life NOW, joy that overpowers circumstances, peace that washes my soul even in life's greatest storms, hope and purpose and love beyond measure!
I am thankful, bursting with thanks really for the gift that is my life! I will leave you with these verses of promise and hope as I celebrate thirty wonderful years on this earth. Thank you Lord for this vessel!

Philippians 1:21
"For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain."

Romans 8:11
"And if the Spirit of him who raised Jesus from the dead is living in you, he who raised Christ from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies through his Spirit, who lives in you."

Philippians 4:12-13
"I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through him who gives me strength."

Taking You In

A thought crossed my mind just now, sweet Emma, as I watched you out the window. Completely unaware that I'm watching you, swinging on your swing set, braids blowing in the breeze of each swing. You are little now, almost five years old, but you won't always be so little. In fact, the thought of the speed of time fell heavy on my heart just now. Oh, that I could stop time, or at least bottle it up for safe keeping! You're thinking about something as I watch you, it's all over your face, brows furrowed, talking or singing to yourself as you look out over the pasture behind us. Perhaps you are wishing you could fly, or maybe you are imagining you are riding that horse you see. Dream, sweet daughter, dream big! God is a big God, give your heart to Him and He will give you life abundant!

Water Babies!

There is something blissfully simple and yet profoundly memorable about summer days spent around a backyard wading pool. I remember running down our backyard hill with reckless abandon to jump into the small pool, swimming on our stomachs in circles for what must have been hours, giggling til our cheeks hurt. I've heard it said that having children is like reliving your childhood, and I am finding that to be true in so many ways. A picture is worth a thousand words, so here are a few thousand!

Oh so serious!

Now he gets the idea

And now that there's a ball involved, yes please!

Check out the cool water I captured near Emma's leg. Have I said anything lately about how much I love my camera?!

Does this picture not say mischief?!! Just look at her expression!

Nothing like swimming to get those tummy's growling. And lunch outside makes clean-up a snap!

My Boys

Look at this big boy! I never thought he'd grow out of his pack n play at nine months of age! He's a monster I tell you!Okay, if you just had a blond moment and believed the above statement, here's the truth. This is the girl's baby doll pack n play! Pretty realistic toys they make these days eh!

And this picture epitomizes an afternoon nap for a daddy. You never know who you'll wake up next to. The girls thought daddy needed a friend to sleep with.

Six Years!

Happy Anniversary Travis! Six years ago today, at this very moment, about 11:00am, I was standing at the entrance to the sanctuary, waiting for the Anne of Green Gables theme song to start playing. I remember how elated I felt, light as a feather, could not wipe the smile off my face. When I looked at you as I was coming down the isle, flashes of our life together kept moving across my mind. Our honeymoon, our first home together, having children, vacations, every day life, growing in the Lord together. Just know that reality has been the fulfillment of those hopes my love. Yes, sometimes harder than those optimistic, naive dreams, but also much richer and deeper in blessing than I could have imagined. It sounds cliche, but I truly mean it when I say, I love you more today than I did on our wedding day! I know you more, and I have witnessed your love for me, anchored on a foundation of forgiveness and choosing to see the best in me, withstand the winds of my ugliness and weakness and have seen my love do the same for you. That is the stuff of love for a lifetime. Til death do us part, yes, that's what we have! For better or worse, you've got me babe! I look forward to the rest of our lives together sweet man, and realizing what this journey God has for us will bring.
Always, Your Sarah

Nana's Visit

My mom came up for a summer visit this week. It's always such a treasured time, having her here. We do life as usual, but it's somehow richer and better. Her extra hands and arms and heart are a sweet retreat, even amidst the usual tasks of a day. We did get to do something out of the ordinary last night however. Last night, just she and I went to a local fund-raising production of Pride and Prejudice and had an absolute blast! We sat in the front row, right in the center, such a treat! The actors were amazing, made us laugh and captured our hearts. It was such a good getaway for me. We love you Nana! Until your next visit...(Above: My favorite picture in our goofy photo shoot in the back yard!)